Monkey Mojo
by spectre666
Summary: Now that Ron has received his mystical monkey powers, what if parts of it still "come and go"? Parts that are a little curious.
1. Chapter 1

I.

Kim Possible sat at her favorite booth in the newly rebuilt Bueno Nacho, nursing a slowly melting smoothie. She kept glancing nervously at the entrance. Then her eyes would return to her cup.

Finally, the one she was desperately waiting on arrived. She waved frantically in an unneeded gesture to attract the newcomer's attention. The arrival's eyes locked on the corner booth, rapidly advancing to take a seat.

"Baby girl, what's got you so frantic you'd ask me to meet you here at this time of the morning?"

Kim glanced around, then leaned close. "You didn't see Ron on your way over here, did you?"

Monique jerked back. "No, why?" She drew close, "Is there trouble in paradise? Did the boy do something?"

"Yes...ah...no...that is, maybe." Kim told her cup.

Monique began to grin wickedly. "Let me guess. You two were out last night, and somebody we won't name, but who has blond hair and freckles, developed a case of Roman hands."

Emerald eyes raised in wonder. "Wha...How did you...are you spying on us?"

Monique's grin grew, "Nope, don't have to. So what happened?"

Kim's blush dimmed the sun.'

"Oh, boy! Don't tell me you..."

"NO!" Kim looked around nervously, "It's just that he...and then I..."

Monique leaned forward, "Our boy went exploring and you were HTGATTS?"

"What?"

"Having too good a time to stop." Monique translated. "Someday I'm going to get a friend who understands me." She muttered under her breath.

"I was not!" Kim spat indignantly before dropping her eyes back to her smoothie. "Well, not that I didn't...I mean it felt...and then he...and it's not like I haven't dropped a few hints...it's just..."

Monique glanced at her watch, "Ok, Baby Girl, sooner or later I have to go to work. So I have a question. You and Ron both enjoyed yourselves, right?"

"Well, yes." Kim spoke hesitantly.

"And with you all sixteen kung fu, don't even tell me you couldn't handle a couple of wandering hands. Especially Ron's."

"Of course I can."

"Then what's the problem?"

Kim half stood, looking over the booth backs. She glanced carefully around the restaurant, making sure no one was close. She leaned toward her BGF. "Promise you won't tell?"

"Huh?"

"I mean it, swear you won't tell anyone else."

Monique decided to humor her naive, if famous, friend. "I promise."

"Swear."

Monique sighed, "I swear. May I never have fashion first again if I tell."

Kim eyed her suspiciously, but finally began. "Ok," she whispered, "I can take care of hands. So not a problem. It was, it was..." She took a long drink from her smoothie.

"What? What? It was what?" Monique leaned forward eagerly.

Kim's voice barely covered the eight inches between them. "It was his tail."

Monique blinked, "His what?"

"His tail, all right? His tail." Kim growled.

Monique's smile grew, her lips twitched. Finally she collapsed in laughter.

"It's not funny!"

Wiping her streaming eyes, Monique gasped. "Oh, Kim, I knew you were a little naive, but I was sure you knew..."

"Not that." Kim interrupted, blushing furiously. "Of course I knew about **that**." She leaned forward in confidence, "It wasn't that, it was his tail."

"Wait, you mean his tail, tail? As in..."

"Yes. Furry and limber, and too dang curious for it's own good."

Monique sat stunned. "Whoa, whoa, TO. Ron has a tail? A for real... How come I never heard this before? After all, the boy does go to gym, surely someone would have noticed."

Kim just watched her.

"You said it was furry and limber?"

Kim nodded.

"And you also said," A sly smile began to grow on Monique's lips, "that 'it was too curious for it's own good'."

Kim blushed, but nodded vigorously.

Monique looked left, then right. She leaned forward confidentially, "You, ah, wanna tell me what "the tail" was curious about?"

**"NO!"**

Monique sat back, crossing her arms on her chest. "Well, if that's all, I gotta get to work and..." Her eyes stared challenging into the dismayed emerald orbs in front of her.

Kim's gaze dropped first. "O..ok. I'll tell. But you have to..."

"I know, I know, zipped lips." Monique interrupted, "Now, give."

"We...ah...we were in the tree house, on the couch. I was kissing Ron, or we were kissing each other, or..." Kim got a wicked grin on her face. "I'm telling you, Mo, that boy really knows how to kiss. He does this thing with his tongue that..."

"Hold it. TMI." Monique gestured with one open palm.."I'll go with he's a good..,"

"Great!" Kim insisted.

"OK,ok, great kisser. Don't need to know the particulars. Just get on with the main action."

"Well..."

_Kim lifted her head, her breathing rapid and heavy. With one last peck on Ron's nose, she raised enough to look her BFBF in the eyes. "Ok, mister," she whispered, "I have two questions."_

_Ron reached up to nibble under her chin. _

_"Ummm, stop that, Ronnie, I'm trying to be serious here."_

_"Listening KP, all attention." Ron mumbled between tiny licks at her neck._

_"Ahhhhh, yeah, ah...,Ron?" Kim tried to focus. "First question, where did you get the mink glove, and second, how long do you want to go without the use of that hand if that glove moves any lower?"_

_Ron eased lower, savoring the hollow at the base of his GF's neck. "Ah, KP, what glove? And what lower. Lower than your shoulders?"_

_Kim felt his fingers tap one shoulder, then another set of fingers tap the other shoulder. Her head snapped up. "What...aaaaaaaaaaaa..."_

Kim's voice trailed off.

Monique leaned forward, "Yeah? Yeah? And then? Come on, girlfriend, you can't stop there."

Kim talked to her smoothie.

"Girlfriend, you are going to have to look at me and speak up. What happened?"

"I...ah...realized that if Ron had one hand on one shoulder and the other hand on my other shoulder, something was seriously wrong." She looked around the area, avoiding Monique's eyes. "I mean it had really felt good, but when I... I...I just...I..." Kim hid her face in her hands.

"You freaked." Monique said matter of factly.

Kim peeked between her fingers. "Totally."

"So?"

Kim's fingers closed. "It was bad enough that somebody besides Ron had been rubbing my back, but that's when it...it...got curious."

"Curious?"

"I freaked because it went down my cargoes and rubbed my butt, OK." Kim spit out.

"Yes, yes, I can understand that." Monique nodded, "Now if Ron had..."

"Monique! We have so not gone there." Kim blushed.

Monique grinned unrepentantly, "Well, finish the story." She urged.

"Like I said, I freaked. When I came off the couch, since Ron had hold of me, he came with me. But, he lost hold when I scrambled up. He landed on his stomach. I looked around, but there was nobody there. Ron was moaning, I think he hit something when he hit the floor, and that's when I saw it."

"_Ronald Dean Stoppable! What is that? And what was it doing in my pants?"_

_Ron raised his head, for some reason he had a pale green tint to his face, "Wh...what? What's what, KP?"_

_"That that!" Kim pointed furiously at the furred appendage waving from Ron's pants._

_Ron eased his head around, "Oh, that. That's my tail. Has a mind of it's own, never does what I tell it to."_

_"Is that like 'I washed it and can't do a thing with it?'" Kim growled._

_Ron managed to sit up, leaning back against the couch with a groan. "More like it does it's own thing. Kind of like the monkey mojo, KP, it comes and goes."_

_Kim's mouth opened and closed, attempting to express her disbelief. She finally shook her head and leaped down the ladder, followed by a pained and plaintive, "KP!"_

Monique spoke around the fist she was trying to stuff in her mouth to halt the erupting giggles, "Down...down your pants, huh?"

"Yeah," Kim circled her smoothie broodingly. "Right down the middle and then cupped..." Kim's head jerked up. "I did not say that and you did not hear that. Understand?" She glared.

Monique nodded behind her snorts of half held back laughter. "R-right."

Kim sighed, looking at her melted smoothie, "So, what do I do?"

"Well," Monique got out, "you said it felt good, right?"

"Like the finest, softest mink coat you ever touched."

"Maybe...maybe you should think about training." Mo' managed before she collapsed in laughter.

Kim, however, did not laugh. Her eyes opened wide as inspiration struck. "Mo', you're a genius!" She squealed."

"I am? I mean, of course I am." Monique looked up at her standing friend. "Ah, Kim, what are you going to do?"

Kim had a manic gleam in her eye as she stepped out of the booth. "I'm going to find a cattle prod and a book on snake training. Later, Mo'." She walked rapidly out the door.

Monique looked at the slowly closing entrance. "Oh, god, what have I done?" She moaned softly.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I.

"Ah, Kim, what are you doing?" Monique asked warily.

"Shhhh. Be very, very quiet. I'm hunting monkeys." Kim giggled, "Of at least a certain monkey's tail."

"Okay, and the outfit?" Mo' whispered.

"I had him, but he got away. I figured that he got away because I wasn't dressed for searching." Kim nodded with a confident air.

"Uh-huh. But why..." Monique gestured cluelessly at Kim's clothes. "I mean, a fedora, a whip, your grappling gun in it's holster...and that leather jacket has got to be stifling in this heat."

"That Smith, Jones, whatever fella in the movies never loses his prize." Kim leaned forward conspiratorially, "I just know it's the clothes."

Monique looked around the store carefully. _"Where, oh where is Ron when you need him? Or Wade, or Mrs. Possible, or even the boys in the white coats with the special "dinner" jacket?"_ "Ah, Kim, has Ron seen your new mission outfit?"

Kim scowled, "Just for a minute. You know, if Mr. Barkin had seen Ron, he'd be awful upset. Ron hasn't shown that kind of speed in any game he's played all year."

"Ron, ah, Ron." Monique cleared her throat. "Ron ran away from you? Any...any idea why?"

Kim frowned in thought. "Well, maybe because when I saw him earlier I touched him."

"Since when has Ron objected to you touching him?" Monique smiled.

"Never, but I touched him with this." Kim reached into the pouch on her belt, pulling out what appeared to be a collapsed metal pointer. "See Wade made this for me. The handle is non conductive metal." She flipped a cover and pushed a recessed button. The pointer extended to three feet of chrome shininess.

"So, you touched him with a pointer, so what?" Monique was clearly puzzled.

"Not just any pointer, Mo', watch." Kim lightly touched the tip of the pointer to themetal stand on the counter.

Monique involuntarily ducked and squealed at the explosion of sparks. "Kim!" Shakily looking at her BGF, Monique saw Kim regarding the tip of the pointer thoughtfully,

"May have just a little too much power there, ya think?" The redhead pondered.

Mo' was shaken. "You...you actually touched Ron with that...that..THAT?"

"Yeah, but it shouldn't have bothered him." Kim explained.

"Oh, really, and why not? I know I'd be more than a little bothered." Monique took a step back.

"So would I." Kim admitted. "But Ron told me he couldn't feel what the tail felt. And Ron never lies to me." She smiled innocently.

Monique grasped the counter with a white knuckled hand in her effort to control herself. "You..you actually touched his tail with that thing?"

"Well," Kim looked embarrassed, "I touched where his tail should have been."

"And, ah, was it?"

"Don't know, he had his pants up. All I know is I snuck up behind him as he was climbing into the tree house and touched him."

"And...and how...how did he react?" Monique managed to whisper.

"Well, Ron always wanted another window in the tree house."

Monique made a "go on" gesture.

"He went up the ladder, out the side of the tree house and ran off down the street. Later, after I figured out how to dress for this mission, I only got a glimpse of him before he disappeared." Kim's frown turned into a smile of utmost confidence. "But I'm ready for him now, he can't get away." She grinned. "I'm going hunting now, Mo, but if you see Ron, tell him I'm looking for him." With a confident step, Kim walked out of Club Banana into the mall.

Monique collapsed behind the register, her howls of laughter bringing two assistant sales clerks running.

II.

Monique stepped into the office, still hiccuping with laughter. She flipped the light switch, unsurprised that nothing happened. _"Club Banana and it's marketing idea to go green, damn bulbs are always going out. Guess I better call maintenance again." _She stepped to the desk, reaching for the phone.

A strong arm wrapped her waist as a large hand covered her mouth. Before Monique could begin to struggle, a hoarse voice whispered, "Is she gone?"

XXXXXXXXXX

_AN: Yeah, I know I said it was complete, but you know me, can't let a story alone. :). Next up, Ron's side of the story. Stay tuned. I know it's short, but real life calls and I have to go make a living. Thanks._


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

I.

"Is she gone?"

Monique nodded vigorously into the hand.

"Good. Not gonna scream or anything are you, Mo'?"

Monique shook her head no. The hand dropped as the person behind her stepped away. Turning, she crossed her arms. "Ok, Blondie, what are you doing in an employees only area?"

Ron cringed. "Sorry, sorry, but it was the only place I could think of. When I came in you were busy and then KP walked in and I had to hide."

"So, you're hiding from your girlfriend,huh? Mind telling me why?" Monique decided now was a great time to play Ron. If nothing else, a different perspective on Kim's recent statements should be...interesting. "_Besides," _she grinned to herself, _"Ron's a good guy and all, but us girls gotta stick together."_

Ron dropped into a chair in front of the desk, his hand's twitching. "I'm not really sure, Mo', but if she did to you what she did to me, you'd be hiding too."

"And just what did she do to you?" Monique asked innocently.

"She tried to fry me, that's what." Ron spat indignantly.

"Oh, I don't think Kim would do that. After all, her kitchen skills..."

"Not that way! She nailed me with a tazor or a cattle prod or something when my back was turned." Ron sputtered.

"And she did this why?"

"How would I know?" Ron glared straight into Monique's eyes, "I don't know why women do what they do."

Monique's eyebrows rose in silent disbelief. Ron wilted. "Ok, I may have done a little something, but it was totally innocent on my part."

Monique cupped her hand, her fingers curling in a bring it motion.

"That's all, really." Ron glared righteously, "I didn't do anything."

"So, what was the little thing that you didn't do?" Monique asked.

"I told you, I didn't do anything. Nothing to deserve being flash fried anyway." Ron stood in exasperation, leaning aggressively toward Monique. "My tail may have gotten a little curious but I didn't...do...any...thing?" He dropped back into the chair. His head falling into his hands. "I didn't say that, I did not say that, and Mo' didn't hear me say that." He looked up at his friend, "You didn't hear me say that, right?"

"Of course I didn't. Never heard a word." Monique spoke soothingly. "Unless, of course, monkey boy, you don't tell met the rest of the story."

"Thanks, Mo', I really appreci...WHAT?" The hope drained from Ron's eyes.

"Don't worry, monkey boy, I won't spread it around, but no talkee and my hearing gets vastly improved."

Ron moaned, "You wouldn't consider forgetting for ringside tickets to see Pain King, would you?"

"Tempting, but no." Monique crossed her arms in anticipation. "And my hearing is improving by the second."

Ron raised desperate eyes, only to meet an implacable stare. His gaze dropped. "Ok, what do you want to know?" He sighed.

"You've got a tail, a for real, fur covered, tail?" Monique semi squealed.

"Sometimes."

"Explain."

"Well, KP told you about the monkey mojo I got at Monkey Fist's castle, right?"

Monique nodded.

"See, that's it." Ron looked at Monique in patent expectation of being understood.

"That's what?" Monique said in exasperation. "BSTF, Monkey boy." She groaned at his lost look. "Better start talking fast, ok."

"Sure." Ron replied, now understanding, "But what else do you need me to say?"

Monique's hands tightened on her crossed arms. Her toe began tapping. "Ok, let's keep this simple. I ask a question, you answer it. Are we clear?"

Ron's head bobbed up and down.

"Ok, you have a tail."

"Sometimes."

"Ok, when does the tail show up?"

"Well," Ron's hand began to rub his neck. "Usually when I'm in trouble."

"Right. When it does show up, can you control it?"

"Sometimes."

Monique's eyebrow raised in question.

"Ok, ok. It's like the monkey mojo, it comes and goes. Like when KP and me got captured by Professor Dementor a couple of weeks ago. She tell you about that?"

"Yeah. Baby girl was freaking because you were in a different cell and she didn't know what they were doing to you."

"Right. Well, the tail came out and I used it to unlock the shackles so I could get to KP and get her loose. I told her Rufus got free and got me out."

Monique smiled, "Speaking of the little guy, where is he?"

Ron frowned in disgust. "J/T wanted him to test a new plane they built. They told him it could get him to Wisconsin in less than thirty minutes. He was gone before I could say 'double cheese, please'."

Monique giggled. "Back on subject. So you do control it?"

"Yeah, and no." Ron's hand came up to rug his neck in nervousness. "See, I never know when it's going to show and..." He looked up, grinning. "That's why I haven't let KP get me a better belt or clothes. The tail gotta go somewhere! Besides, I kinda think KP enjoys it when I lose my pants." His grin grew as his eyes focused on a memory.

"That's a different discussion." Monique rudely interrupted Ron's flight into happy thought. "We're talking about the tail right now."

"Oh, right." Ron reluctantly returned to the present. "See, I don't control when it shows up. Sometimes I don't even know it's there." His face grew panicked, "What if it comes out in the mall, or even worse, in Mr. B's class?"

"Worry about that later. Has it come out recently?" Mo' asked.

"Well, yeah..." Ron's hand was giving his neck a workout that should have caused blisters.

"What happened?"

_"Ummm, Ronnie, that feels, so, so goood?" Kim squirmed in her boyfriend's arms. Shivers of pleasure running up and down her spine. She nipped his ear playfully. She could feel his lips stretch into a smile against her neck. Sharp teeth nibbled at her as warm lips soothed the minuscule wounds._

_Ron's lips slowly traveled up Kim's slender neck, pausing to deliver tantalizing licks under her chin, on her chin, and finally reaching his destination, her full lips. Kim's moans were muffled, her words garbled, _

_"Ahhh, Ron, that...that...ummm...you shouldn't...you...you...oh...my...that...don't...I...I..." Kim's scream was muted as her neck dipped to latch her lips and teeth onto her BFBF's neck. Her muscles clenched around him, almost driving the breath from his lungs. A long, tense moment later, Kim collapsed._

_Ron continued to stroke her back. Softly soothing her._

_"Ummm, Ron, I know I've been...ah...dropping...a few...ah...hints...but I didn't really think..."_

_"Hints, KP? What hints."_

_Kim giggled, "As if you didn't know, but if you don't take your hand away from there..."_

_Ron pulled his head back to stare into soft, glowing eyes, "From where, KP? You don't like me touching your shoulders anymore?" He asked in puzzlement._

_"Shoulders? Uou know very well where..." Kim felt one hand squeeze her right shoulder as another hand caressed her left. "Ahhhhiiiiiiieeeee...!"_

"Yeah, yeah, go on!" Monique leaned forward breathlessly.

"That's all, really. She came off the couch like she saw a new cuddlebuddie that was only being offered once."

Monique frowned, "Come on, that can't be all."

In spite of his boasts of being unblushable, a red flush was growing on Ron's face.

"Ah Hah! I knew there was more." Monique's eyes narrowed, "Talk or tell, monkey boy, your choice."

"I thought you were my friend, my naco noshing bud, my..." Ron raised wounded eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, we'll have old home week later. Right now I want to know the skinny."

"Ok, Mo'. You've got me between Rufus and a naco. We'd been kissing and cuddling and, ah,we..."

"Making happy, I know, go on."

"When KP came off the couch she dumped me on the floor. On my stomach on the floor."

Monique raised an eye in question.

"On my "stomach", Mo'? We'd been...ah..."

Monique's eyes widened in comprehension. "You mean...?"

Ron nodded.

"Really?"

Ron raised one hand.

"You mean... you landed...there, there?"

Ron's knees clenched together.

"So I take it you weren't in any shape to explain to Kim what was going on?"

"C'mon, Mo', it's not like she hung around for the lecture notes."

Monique's lips twitched. "And...and you expect me to believe you didn't feel a thing?"

"Welll, I kinda knew the tail was there, but I was busy." Ron explained. "Besides, it only came out before when I was in trouble. How was I supposed to know it wanted to play?"

His self righteous, injured tone took the last of Monique's control. She snorted, clapping her hands over her mouth. The giggles still erupted past her shielding fingers. In moments, she collapsed into her chair, helpless with laughter.

Ron waited patiently for control to return to his interrogator. Monique finally managed to sit up, her lips still twitching, her chest heaving. "And you expect me to believe you didn't feel **anything**?" She gasped.

"Never said that." Ron denied.

"So give."

"I could sorta feel the tail stroking KP's back, but I really wasn't paying attention. Then it...went..." Ron's eyes began to lose focus as a dreamy smile grew on his face.

"And?" Monique softly encouraged.

Ron was in his own memory, his mind clearly in a happy place. "Firm...soft...so good...moist...and..."

Monique snapped her fingers under Ron's nose. "You're verging on way TMI, there Monkey boy." She grinned. "What I want to know is what happened? If the tail is so sharp, why'd it...ah...stick around."

Ron blushed. "I...ah... think it was...ah...gentling her down?"

Monique collapsed back into hilarity.

II.

Kim hummed to herself as she left Bueno Naco. _"Where, oh where can my monkey boy be. Oh where, oh where has he gone."_

She stopped to take stock and plan. _"Let's see, I've been to Ron's house, the tree house, my house, the mall, the water tower, and Bueno Naco. Where haven't I looked? How do I..."_

She reached into her pocket. "Wade?"


	4. Chapter 4

Monkey Mojo: Chapter 4

I.

Ron paced the office nervously. "What am I gonna do, Mo'? I can't hide from KP forever. I got to go to school tomorrow and besides, I don't want to."

Monique cupped her chin in her hands, elbows on the desk. Occasionally a little hiccup of recent hilarity would escape. "Why ask me? I don't know anything about your monkeyness."

"Not helping Mo." Ron growled, "You may not know about the monkey madness, but you do know KP. From a girl's point of view, what should I do?"

"Well, first thing, don't turn your back on her until you get this thing worked out." Mo' collapsed in renewed giggles.

"Oh, very funny. Ha, ha. It is to laugh." Ron groused. "C'mon Mo'. I need help here."

"I'll say you do," Monique giggled, "But why should I help? After all, you've got the girl of your dreams chasing you, all you have to do is stand still and let her catch you. Seems to me you ought to be happy." Monique's control slipped further as the giggles escalated into laughter.

"I'm not worried about KP chasing me," Ron grumbled, "it's what she'll do when she catches me I'm sweating. Shudder city, I'm telling you."

Tears began leaking from Monique's eyes. Swiping futilely at her cheeks, she choked, "At least Kim will get some use out of that training book."

Ron's eyes narrowed, "What book?"

Monique snatched a tissue off the desk to pat her eyes, "The snake training...book." Her eyes widened, "I mean, she was...ah...going ...to...ah...get...ah...get a handle on her snake fears, yeah, that's right."

Ron leaned forward, scowling, "I may not be the brightest bulb in the box, Mo', but I get the idea you knew about the tail before I said anything."

"Me?"

"Yeah, you. Now, either come clean, or else."

"Else what, monkey boy." Monique said defiantly.

"I'll shatter your rep as the gossip queen." Ron threatened.

"And just how could you do that?"

"A prime piece of gossip that you don't know, but as the queen of the gossip set you should know."

"And what would that be?"

"Oh no, I may tell or I may not, but I will definitely spread the word if you don't start talking." Ron grinned triumphantly.

"You wouldn't." Mo' protested.

"I've got access to a website and I'm not afraid to use it." Ron sneered.

Monique frowned in defeat. "Ok, what do you want to know?"

"Tell me about the book."

II.

"Wade, where's Ron?" Kim asked sweetly.

"Now, Kim, we've had this discussion, before. It would be extremely unethical for me to chip Ron."

The sweetness turned sour. "Wade, we can get into philosophy later. Where's Ron?"

"I don't know." Wade cowered.

"What?"

"He figured out he was chipped, 'tagged' is what he called it and made me get rid of it."

"Ron?"

"Ron."

"But...but he never said anything."

"Nope, I explained why we did it and he said he understood. He just wanted it out. He did think it was an idea though so he asked Rufus if he would mind being chipped." Wade paused.

"And?"

"Rufus said okay."

"Great, where's Rufus?"

"Do you remember the mission in Wisconsin?"

"Yes, what's that got to do with anything?"

"As near as I can tell, Rufus is making a determined attempt to be the first mole rat to single handedly eat a building."

"Oh." Kim thought a moment, then brightened. "Ron says you have the world wired, Wade, so have you seen him anywhere?"

"I haven't been looking." Wade temporized.

"Well, look!"

"Okay, okay." Wade's fingers flew across his keyboard. "Got him! Or at least the last sighting I have of him."

"Ooooh, where?" Kim almost quivered in excitement.

"Club Banana. As a matter of fact, he entered shortly before you did." Wade looked up. "Didn't you see him?"

Kim ignored him. Inspiration had struck. "Monique!"

III.

Monique unlocked her car door, a battered old '57 Chevy her dad was restoring. "_Now what kind of gossip could monkey boy know that I don't know? Got to find out what it..."_

"**Monique!"**

_"Oy, could this day get any better?"_ Monique turned, smiling nervously, "Hi, Kim. What brings you back to shopping central?"

"Talk."

"Well, sure, Kim, you know me, always ready to talk." Monique hesitated. "Talk about what?"

Kim growled. "Where's Ron?"

"Ron? How would I know? He's your BF." Monique hid a grin. "What happened? The expedition not go off well?" Sympathy dripped from her lips.

Kim's lip quivered. "He was in Club Banana with you. Why didn't you tell me?"

"_Caught!"_ "Ok, first, I didn't know he was there when you were there. Second you left and when he left I didn't know where you were."

"I didn't see him. Where was he?"

"Hiding in the office." Monique grinned. "You really curled his hair with your pointer, y'know."

Kim blushed. "Never mind that. Where did he go?"

Monique took pity on her obviously distraught girlfriend. "Okay, I don't know where he's at, but he said he had to do some shopping and if I saw you to tell you to meet him in the tree house."

"Ron? Shopping?"

"I know, strange. But that's all I know, honest."

Kim looked at Monique suspiciously, "And that's all? Really?"

"Well, he did say he had an idea." Monique paused, "What's the matter?"

KP closed her jaw. "Mo', think about some of Ron's ideas."

Mo's eyebrow quirked. "Ron? Who's running around with a cattle prod singing 'gonna catch the monkey'?"

"And what is wrong with that?" Kim said pugnaciously, "He's my monkey."

Monique's brow went higher.

"Ok, so maybe it's a little different," Kim squirmed, "but, Monique, you don't know." Kim's eyes unfocused for a moment. "I don't know what he's got, but I want it. Again."

"Sounds like again and again and again." Monique snickered.

"Don't be crude, Mo." Kim grinned, "But if it happens, that monkey is going to be under control." She turned away.

"Where are you going? "Monique asked. "As if I didn't know."

Kim nonchalantly tossed her pointer in the air, catching it idly. "Got a tail to train, later."

Monique watched KP saunter away. _"Momkey boy, you better have one heckuva plan."_


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

I.

Monique checked her watch. Then glanced at the school wall clock to double check. Yep, baby girl was going to get to renew her acquaintance with Big Mike and the gang if she didn't show real soon. Giving up her vigil (after all, she didn't have any keen desire to meet the after school gang herself) she stepped toward the hallway. A red headed lithe figure danced by her without a word. She began to run, she had to get to the bottom of this. Kim? Dancing in the hall? With a grin that threatened to split her face?

"Miss Jenkins!"

At the basso rumble Monique skidded to a halt, turning slowly. "Mr. Barkin?"

The militaristic monarch of Middleton high loomed over her. "Miss Jenkins, are you aware of my zero tolerance policy toward running in the hallway?"

"Y-yes, sir."

One eyebrow quirked, "Well?"

Monique blinked, "Sir?"

Slowly and carefully Mr. Barkin enunciated. "As you were aware of policy, Miss Jenkins, why were you running in my hallway?"

"Ah...cardio?"

Mr. Barkin smiled in faux understanding. "Keeping the arteries clear, Miss Jenkins? Well, I think after that strenuous little sprint some relaxation is in order. One hour detention, today."

"That's not..."

"And a ten page report on the benefits of a regular cardio vascular workout schedule, suitably researched and foot noted of course."

Monique began to hyperventilate.

"Do you have anything else to say, Miss Jenkins?"

Monique frantically shook her head negatively.

"Very well, I suggest you get to class, unless you want to extend your participation in my afternoon club with a tardy." The big man turned and walked away.

Monique jerked herself out of her shock, then scurried towards her home room.

II

_"Those shoes were NOT made for walking." _Monique moaned to herself.

Yawning hugely, Monique walked into her home room, swerving to place her report on Mr. Barkin's desk. She had been up half the night, finishing the formal paper Barkin had demanded. _"I __may have to rethink my ideas about Ron. He gets handed two or three of these a week and completes them. How does he do it?" _Monique walked over and flopped into her seat, then laid her head down into the cradle of her arms. "_Not only did I not get to find out what Kim was so happy about, I got three more days in detention! At least they'll be in solitary." _She felt more than saw the chairs on each side of her fill.

"Really, Monique, I thought you were fashion wise. Those pink sneakers aren't even last year."

"_Just what I need." _"Bon Bon, do not give me any grief, so not in the mood." Monique snarled.

"You did **not **just call me that. My name is Bonnie!" Bonnie gritted.

Without raising her head, Mo snarked, "Why not? Is that a little love label you only let Ron use?"

"**Love la...**that...you...Stoppable and...ME! He's a loser! And...and so are you!" Bonnie jerked to her feet and stomped to a chair as far away as she could get.

"That'll learn ya." Monique snorted into her arms. She turned her head, cracking one eye open at the tinkling giggle that sounded beside her. "Morning, Tara. What are you laughing for? I though you and Bonnie were best buds."

Trying unsuccessfully to stop her giggles behind her fingers, Tara replied, "Oh, we...we are. But that doesn't mean I don't know her faults. Not many people have the courage to nail her like that. I think she was totally unprepared for it."

Monique reluctantly and slowly sat up. "So, you and bonnie don't generally sit here, what's up?"

"I was hoping you could tell me." Tara semi pouted. "Haven't you talked to Kim?"

"Nope, haven't even seen her since she and Ron left on that mission yesterday."

"Didn't you call her last night?"

"Girl, after the afternoon I had, by the time I got home I was to beat to call anybody, and I still had to finish Barkin's paper!"

"Somebody said you got detention, but I didn't believe it." Tara nodded with conviction.

"Believe it. Not only yesterday, but I got handed three more days."

"What happened? " Tara asked in horror.

"It didn't start off too bad, just boring. Then Mr. Barkin had to leave the room for a moment.' Monique closed her eyes as a pained expression washed over her face.

"Go on!" Tara urged.

"Well, we were all sitting in a tight little group, Vinnie and Jr. beside me, Big Mike behind me. When Mr. Barkin left the room, Vinnie decided it was a great time to hit on me." She wearily rubbed her forehead. "Then Jr. wanted in on the action."

"And, and!"

"It's not like I couldn't handle those two, but then Big Mike got in the game." Monique shook her head.

"Go on! What happened?"

"Well, things were getting a little out of hand, but I remembered what Kim told me about her little stint in detention." Monique winced in pained remembrance. "I couldn't see the door, Big Mike was in the way, I asked them 'What did Kim teach you?'"

Tara blinked.

Monique nodded. "Yep, they couldn't have said it better if they practiced. 'Take turns'. Just as Mr. Barkin walked in the door Three days solitary for bing a disruptive influence."

III.

"I've got my eye on you, Jenkins. I'll see you this afternoon." Barkin anounced as Monique hastily grabbed her books and joined the stampede for the door. Once in the hallway, she glanced around quickly and saw her quarry.

"Tara?"

Tara and Bonnie stood, obviously waiting for Monique to catch up. "Tara, you started to ask me something about Kim. Do you know why neither she nor Ron were in Home room?"

Tara nodded eagerly. "I thought you might know what's going on. I was in the office getting a pass for tomorrow when I heard the secretary talking on the phone. All I caught was that 'Stoppable won't be in today'. I thought you might know why not. If he was hurt on that mission yesterday."

"Probably tripped over his own shadow." Bonnie sneered.

Monique glanced cuttingly at the brunette. "I haven't heard anything, Tara. But Ron being hurt wouldn't keep Kim out of class."

"Oh, please, as if she can function without her lapdog. Come on, Tara, we have to get to class." Bonnie walked away.

"If you hear anything, let me know, please." Tara whispered, before hurrying after her friend.

Monique stood for a moment, before striding toward her own next class. _"As soon as I get out of detention, I'm going to Kim's" _Recalling that her own car had given up the ghost in the school parking lot last night, the reason for the old but comfortable sneakers today, she had a second thought. "_Maybe she'll give me a ride home. That walk is a killer."_

IV.

"Mrs. Possible, is Kim home?"

"Come in, Monique. Maybe you can get her to talk." Mrs. Possible smiled as she held the door open. "All I can get her to say, when she's not crying, is that she's going to kill Shego."

"I...ah... heard that Ron was hurt." Monique asked.

Mrs. Possible shut the door, then led Monique to the loft stairs. "Something's wrong, but I'm not sure what. He isn't in the hospital and as far as I know he hasn't seen a doctor." Mrs. Possible frowned. "I tried talking to his mother but she just burst out laughing and wouldn't say anything."

Monique put her hand on the rail, "Well, maybe Kim will tell me."

"If it's anything dangerous, you will tell me, won't you?" Mrs./Dr. Possibles' tone turned the request into a command.

"Yes, Ma'am, of course." Monique hurried up the stairs, "Kim, it's Mo. Are you all right." Rising through the hatch, Monique saw her BFF lying face down on the bed, her head buried in a pillow. "Kim! TMWGO?"

Damp red eyes raised in question. "W-what?"

"Tell me what's going on."

"I...I..."

"Girlfriend, what happened? You were on cloud nine yesterday."

Kim's bottom lip quivered, her eyes filled with tears, she jumped up into Mo's arms wailing.

"I think this is where the BF is needed." Mo managed. The wails increased in volume. Sitting Kim down on the bed "Now, you want to tell me what's going on, GF? What happened between Sunday and today?"

Kim sniffled, then blew her nose in the tissue Monique handed her. "S-Sunday was so...so good. And...and...then...." A few more tears leaked.

"I take it the training worked?" Monique stifled her grin.

Kim shook her head. "It worked, but not the way I thought. When I met Ron at the tree house he had some fur lotion and a book, Training with Kindness."

Monique nodded in a "go on" manner.

Kim's expression turned dreamy. "It worked too. When we were through, that tail was doing things you wouldn't believe. By the time we graduate, Ron was going to have the best trained tail in the world."

Monique's eyes opened wide. "I think we're getting real close to TMI territory here, but...wait a minute, you said 'was'?"

Kim's face puckered up again.

"Now don't start bawling again. Just tell me what happened. And is Ron hurt? Your mother is really worried."

Kim jerked back in horror. "You can't tell my mother! You can't tell anyone! The only reason I'm telling you is because you already know about Ron."

Monique made soothing gestures. "Calm down, calm down. I won't tell anyone you don't want me to. But is Ron hurt?"

Kim looked everywhere but at her friend. "Yes...and no."

"Nothing like being definitive." Mo muttered. "You want to explain that?"

"How do you tell anyone you hurt something that isn't even there?" Kim asked.

Mo blinked, "Yes, yes, I can see where that might be a little tricky. What happened? You get a shock in with your pointer before he brought out the book?"

"Monique!" Kim said reproachfully, "As if I would."

Monique raised her eyebrows.

"Well, yeah, but that was before Ron explained things to me." Kim defended herself.

"Um hmm. Ok, then what happened?"

Kim blushed, "Well, yesterday I wasn't quite myself." She began.

"Girl, you danced right by me and never even noticed. Then you had Ron out of the room so fast I'm surprised you didn't leave tread marks!"

"Well, I wanted to...Do you want to hear this or not?" Kim huffed.

"Talk."

"OK, well, we got called on a mission just before lunch. You may have noticed Ron and I weren't there."

Monique nodded.

"Drakken was up to his usual tricks, trying to...."

"What did he have this time? Mutated poodles?"

Kim frowned. Mo raised her hands in defense, "Ok, ok, shutting up."

"His plan doesn't matter." Kim paused thoughtfully, "I'm not sure I understood it anyway. Something about his new ray giving tadpoles legs." She shook her head. "But the main problem was that I wasn't ...ah....paying attention."

Monique snorted, "Girlfriend, if you hadn't woke up since I saw you..."

"As I was saying," Kim growled. "Ron was dealing with the henchmen, Rufus was at the self destruct switch, same old same old, but Shego managed to nail me pretty good. But Ron saved me." Kim's lip began to quiver again.

"Story now, cry later." Mo admonished.

"Right." Kim sighed. "Well, somehow Ron knew I was in trouble. He grabbed the henchman he was fighting in a bear hug, did a backwards flip, and with his back to Shego, his tail came out and wrapped around her throat, choking her." Kim smiled in reminiscence. "That really was a spankin' move. I didn't know he could do that."

Monique asked impatiently, "Ok, Ron has Shego in a choke hold, so what went wrong?"

Kim began sniffling. "R-Ron was still fighting the henchman, Shego lit her hands and grabbed his tail."

"She burnt his tail?" Monique began to grin.

"She didn't burn it," Kim wailed. "She broke it. And now it won't come out and play anymore." She collapsed on her bed.

_V. Epilogue_

_Ron lay prone on his bed, fighting to overcome the handicap the unfamiliar position gave him in his battle with the zombies. Reaching one hand back, he adjusted the ice pack sitting below the small of his back. "Now, if I can just keep my cool," he thought, "things can settle down. Another tree house session like that, and I'll get to see up close and personal, the nearest black hole."_


End file.
